Drugs

Time for Drugs.

Time to talk Medicine.

Shame. Most of my life I felt shame, I couldn’t get out of bed without something. Some medication. It’s still true.

Almost 3 decades of trying. Two of which I shamed myself, thought myself weak, less of a man, because I couldn’t go about a day, an average everyday American Day, without something.

Straight edge! All natural! The latest diet! Yoga! In a toga! Meditation. Found religion? … Have some faith, it moves mountains you know.

How come it couldn’t move my rear out of bed?

I read so much: new age, old age, manifest your secrets age, philosophy, psychiatry, hypnosis, sat like Buddha, went the way with Lao-Tse.  Not for curiosity's sake, for survival.

There had to be a way to do this, to be drug free and be me.

Addiction is a disease. I’ve seen it in close friends.

So are ADHD, Depression, Diabetes, Lupus, PTSD, Hypo and Hyperthyroidism. I’ve seen those in close friends.

Different treatments for different ales.

For years I physically didn’t get far without opiates. I hated them and the risk of addiction. The question one of my many great Doctors had me come up with an answer for was, “What’s the difference between dependency and addiction?”

I don’t consider life a game, but the saying makes for an easy explanation.

Someone uses drugs to escape the game of life.

Someone takes medicine to be able to play.

When I was  in my early 20’s, the mother of a friend, a spiritual mentor, and a real angel of a woman, gave me some great advice.

I mentioned how troubled I was that I needed to take an antidepressant, shouldn’t willpower and faith and discipline be enough?

How ashamed I was. What could I do? What was I doing wrong? Why was I so weak?

Her 5ft 3ish self grabbed my 6ft 4ish face with both hands and said, “Hun, you thank God for the medicine.”

Thank God for her.

And I do. Everyday. Usually about an hour or so after I take my meds and I realize I’m doing my day, near close to the way I choose to. I don’t think anyone ever gets it exactly right.

See, the intentions are good. Exercise. Eat well. Meditate. And for most of us it is a matter of willpower. But not for all.

If Joe’s right knee won’t move unless he takes a certain pill every morning, he’s going to take that pill if he wants to do his day.

He forgets to take it one day.

So Louie asks; “What’d you do to your leg?”

“Oh I forgot my pill this morning.”

“Why not just move it?”

“It won’t work without the pill.”

“Did you stretch it?”

“…”

“Yoga? Keto? Meditation?”

“…”

“Pray. God will fix it.”

“I did. That’s who gave me the pills.”

The question is are you going to the gym 3 to 5 days a week because you want to feel better? Or are you going to the gym 3 to 5 days a week because you’re feeling better?

“Jane it’s just Covid, you gotta show up, you miss a few nights and it’s hard to start again.”

What’s funny?

Medicine is what works that let’s us work. Taking it is using your willpower. Taking it is an act of strength. Life means so much to you that you’re willing to do anything to be able to live it to the fullest.

Get better. Be better. Get stronger. Be strong. And please don’t apologize for doing what you need to do to be your best you.

When you thank God for the medicine, you thank God for you.

Thank God for you.

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